JUST A LATE NIGHT THOUGHT...

I'm sat here just thinking about the last couple of days I've had. Not going to lie, they've been terrible. My anxiety has been through the roof and I just feel like shit. I don't really like to talk about how I feel because most people haven't saw this side of me and I don't really like to show it but if I write it down, it will be therapeutic for me and it will also hopefully remind others that they aren't on their own. Everyone has their bad moments. 

There are days when I don't want to move, all I want to do is sleep and just ignore the world. Sometimes that's exactly what I do and I know it's the wrong way to go about it but at that moment, I just feel like that's the only way I can cope. I shut myself away from everyone and try to deal with it on my own. This is what I've been doing the past few days. My attitude has been eff everything and I haven't gotten a single thing done. I don't sleep at night and I end up sleeping all day. 

My mind is constantly noisy.

There's always something there to worry me and keep me awake. Most of the time It's just random crap. Creating negative scenarios that just don't need to exist or thinking of a time I embarrassed myself and just reliving that feeling again. I can worry about worrying. It's a vicious cycle that anyone can go through and It's not easy to deal with. There is no quick fix, it's all about finding ways to deal with it and calming yourself down. 

Right now It's 3:30am, I have warm lemon water and I'm watching Dr who (Matt Smith of course)
After this I am going to do a jigsaw puzzle on an app that I have. My University tutor told me about this trick. It helps to force all of your concentration on one specific thing so your mind can't roam free and start causing trouble. This and adult colouring books have really help me over the past few months to just give my mind a break. 

I'm not really sure if this will help anyone but it has sort of helped me to express how I am feeling. 

P.s I chose the beach picture because the beach is my favourite place in the world. Any beach at all. When I was in university, me and my house mates went all the time when we wanted a little break from the house. We sat quietly for a few minutes, breathed in the fresh beach air and then spoke about how we were feeling. Such a nice way to relax.

Thanks for listening to me ramble. 

Love ya x 

MY LIFE IN 15 PHOTOS...

It was soooooo hard choosing 15 pictures. I'm sure I have a photo for every memory and everything important that has happened in my life. I have thousands of photos and picking just 15 to sum up my life seemed pretty impossible...BUT here we are and these are the 15 images I have chosen (including the one above). My friends, my family and of course I threw in a few selfies as well. I hope you enjoy having a sneak peek into my life.

I'd like to tag my best friend to do this challenge and everyone should go and check out her blog: agirloutofwater.blogspot.co.uk

It doesn't have to be 15 pictures, it can be as many as you want. Lets just have fun with it.

Love ya x 

BE KIND TO YOURSELF...

Being kind to yourself is one of the best things you can do for yourself.


Guilt...
We often neglect this act for many reasons but one I've noticed is that we feel guilty. Guilty of being happy around others that aren't or guilty of being afraid of other peoples judgments. Why? Why do we do that to ourselves? We should embrace our happiness and release that fear we have of other people. 

Putting the guilt aside and owning your happiness can be hard but believing you deserve and have earned that happiness is such a great achievement in itself.

Loving yourself...
I was once talking to a very good friend of mine on a day that wasn't so good for me. A bit of self-loathing was going on and she was there to give me a bit of a confidence boost. She suggested that I look in the mirror every morning and say something that I liked about myself. Obviously I thought she was mad and it would definitely make me look mad talking to myself in the mirror. The next day I was standing at the mirror and thought I might give it a go. I said what I liked about myself and I actually smiled which was weird for me because I never smile at myself in the mirror. I started doing this every morning and throughout the day I felt just a bit more happy. It's such a small thing to add to your lifestyle but it worked. You don't need to be specific, it can be a tiny thing you like about yourself, your hair, your makeup that day, your smile or even a personality trait.
There are of course days where i'm going to feel a little shitty but knowing what you like about yourself is such a great way to be kind to your mind. 

In fact no, don't just say something you like about yourself. Say what you LOVE about yourself. I don't want you to like your hair, i want you to LOVE you hair. Don't just like the fact that your a kind person, LOVE that you're a kind person. 

Having a bad day?...
On a bad day I just want to be by myself and sleep but I have realised that that's not healthy and I should be doing everything I can to pick myself up again. Seeing friends, baking cookies, taking a relaxing candle lit bath with a book and even researching trips that you want to take. These are just a few suggestions you can do to pick yourself up and get back on your feet. 

Be kind to others...
Making someones day can have an effect on your day as well. There's something about making someone smile that makes us smile and I find that so beautiful. Texting your friend a simple 'Have a good day' will automatically put a smile on their face or if you know someone that is having a rough time, try and motivate them and let them know that they aren't on their own. Is your friend not loving work at the minute? Ask them how their day was and if they need to rant to you, listen to them, discuss solutions with them and be there for them.

Being kind to strangers is always one of my favourite things. You don't know what kind of day they are having or what they are going through in life so making them smile could change that, maybe not permanently but for that brief second. Smiling or even a small compliment can stick with someone all day and when they think about it they will smile. Small kind gestures to anyone can make you feel good and I believe in the saying 'treat people how you want to be treated'.

Laughing is the best medicine...
How fun is laughing and joking around. Always take time out of your day to have a little giggle and have a bit of fun. I'm not going to go into the health benefits of laughing but if you google it you will definitely find a bunch of facts about laughing helping your health.


Let me know if this post helped you or gave you a little boot to be more kind to yourself. I highly recommend the mirror trick, it might seem silly at first but when you get into it and start hyping yourself up it's such a confidence boost. 


Love ya x 

MY GO TO MAKEUP PRODUCTS...

Foundation- Rimmel wake me up (£8.99)

This has been my go to foundation for years. I have drifted apart from it to try other foundations but i always seem to come back to it. I switch between classic beige and natural beige, I sometimes mix them as well just to get that perfect match. The healthy glow, good coverage and long lasting benefits are great for a £8.99 foundation. What more could you ask for?

Eyeshadow- Makeup Revolution HD Eye Shadow Palette (£20) And Urban Decay Basics Naked 2 (£24)

I use this palette for three purposes. It's a eyeshadow and brow palette but I also use the shimmer in the bottom left for highlight. Very intense but very effective! This has been my favourite palette for the start of the year, it has all the right colours and perfect for the day time and night time.The two brown colours on the right side of the palette match my brows beautifully, so I use the darker shade for the tail of my brow and the lighter shade for the front. This palette did come with 3 brushes. A round/fluffy brush, flat/oval brush and an angled eyebrow brush. I haven't included those in this because they aren't really ones I reach for the most. 

The urban decay basics 2 pallet is just what you need for an every day look. These cool tone matte shades blend super easy and if you're in a rush but don't want to leave without anything on your eyes then I highly recommend this palette. I definitely think these shades will suit all skin tones and if you purchase it you won't regret it. 

Contour- Makeup Revolution Ultra Contour Palette (£8)

For nearly 2 years I've been purchasing this contour and highlighting kit. It works well with my skin and I like having something that is all in one instead of having separate products. The three lighter shades are great for setting the under eye. The second shade is a sort of banana shade and does wonders for really brightening up the under eye area. The third shade is a tad shimmery but it still works well and you could even use it as an eyeshadow. 
The three contour shades are perfect, the light, medium and dark cater to everyone's skin tones which I think is just what you need for a product like this. Everyone can use all 3 contour shades depending what look they are going for.
The two highlight shades at the end are great and give you just the right amount of shimmer you need.

Lipstick- Rimmel Kate Moss Matte Lipstick 'Kiss Of Life 111' (£5.49) And Sleek Lipstick True Colour 'Cherry' (£4.99)

I have had this lip stick for quite a while. As you can see it's worn down quite a bit and I am indeed of a new one but I guess that means I like it and wear it often. If you follow me on social media and see my pictures from a night out, you'll see that i almost always have a red lip. I'm not sure why but I feel like it's one of the only colours that really suits me and I definitely feel comfortable in red. I do take it on a night out with me as well just to retouch as there is quite a bit of transfer while drinking from cups and straws.This isn't a problem for me and I don't find this inconvenient.

When i'm not wearing red i probably have some sort of berry/cherry lip. Again with this colour I think it only suites me depending what i'm wearing. During the day i'm usually wearing black so this goes perfectly with my outfits. Dark lips are really reliable for me and if i'm in a hurry then I can grab this without any thought.

Well, that concludes my 'makeup products that are always there for me'. I really hope you enjoyed this post and if you have any recommendations then leave them in the comments below.

Love ya x 

12 THINGS THAT MAKE ME SMILE...

Smiling and being happy! That's something i will never get tired of. You can smile at a complete stranger, they will smile back and it will make your day. I'm all for making peoples day and spreading that love.

So without further ado here are 12 things that make me smile.

1. Seeing my friends and family happy.
2. Hanging out with my friends- never a dull moment with that crazy bunch!
3. Chocolate- All kinds of chocolate. Gimme all the chocolate!
4. Silly jokes- Just being silly in general!
5. Old pictures- I'm that person that saves every picture they take 
6. Strawberries- The smell, the taste, the colour. NOM!
7. Popping bubble wrap! I know you love that too!
8. Music and dancing- You cant listen to music with having a bit of a sing song or jig!
9. Watching animal videos- Cute or funny, i can watch them for hours!
10. The beach- Any time of day, the beach will always be my favourtie place!
11. Watching people carry out a random act of kindness, whether it be for someone that is homeless or just because they want to be kind to someone. 
12. My blog, my writing and you sexy people reading ;) 

Make sure you have a reason to smile today and let me know the things that make you smile.

Love ya x 

MY SEXUALITY...

What Is My Sexuality? 

For years I thought i was bisexual. I never really mentioned it to anyone because I didn't feel the needed to tell people, it didn’t change me as a person so I didn't feel like it was relevant. I know some of my friends know or at least have an idea about it but we've never spoken about it. I think this is going to be the first time some of them an even my family are finding out so I will definitely be getting a few texts soon haha. Sexuality has never really bothered me, you are who you are and that’s that, it doesn’t define you as a person. 

Genders and sexualities aren't something I've ever been bothered about or even thought about much if I'm honest. I think if you like someone and have feelings for them then go ahead and do what you have to do, it doesn't matter if they are male or female or even if they don’t identify as a gender, IT DOESN'T MATTER!!!! 

Bisexuality is the freedom to like both genders. It doesn’t mean if I date a guy, then I'm straight and if I date a girl then I'm a lesbian. It simply means I like BOTH genders no matter who I date. It shocks me how people don't understand that.  

Am I really bisexual? 

After doing research I'm still unsure of what bisexuality actually means. I mean yes I like males and I like females but what if I like a male that has female genitalia, I haven't exactly ruled that out. If I have feelings for a male and then he tells me that he has female genitals, are my feelings then going to automatically stop and am I going to judge them because of their body parts? No, I don't think I will. In fact I know full well that I won't judge them and my feelings will definitely not stop. 

I've only ever had sexual experiences with males and females but I'm totally open to having relationships with everyone. 

I think pansexual is a term used which means you are attracted to all people, regardless of biological sex, gender identity, or expression. This is basically me but I'm still not happy. 

Why do people have to be put into categories and why do we all have to be labelled. 

I like humans and that is what I'm going to say from now on. 

I'm just going to be me.  

Love ya x

EYEBROW FAIL...

Guys, I effed up so bad! 

You know when you're in serious need of a wax and you just can't wait for one. Yeah well, that's exactly what happened, I couldn't wait! I used the Veet facial strips and just went to town on my brows. It all went well until I saw that there were a few bits of wax left. I have never had to remove wax from my skin before so it thought a bit of water and towel will do just fine. I WAS WRONG! As I was scrubbing it off I could feel it burning a little bit but it was doing the job so I carried on. When it was all off it was quite red and sensitive but I did my makeup anyway and carried on with my day. 

The next morning!
Look at my bloody eyebrow. It hurts when I wiggle them and I just look so stupid! Did I mention this happened to BOTH my brows. Scrubbing my skin off was not what I had in mind. I'm definitely going to be layering on the concealer for a few days haha. 
In all fairness, the hairs were removed and my brows do look fresh and clean (in person). It's just me being a klutz haha.

Thanks for reading!
If you have any beauty fails i'd love to read about them.

Love ya x