I'm sat here just thinking about the last couple of days I've had. Not going to lie, they've been terrible. My anxiety has been through the roof and I just feel like shit. I don't really like to talk about how I feel because most people haven't saw this side of me and I don't really like to show it but if I write it down, it will be therapeutic for me and it will also hopefully remind others that they aren't on their own. Everyone has their bad moments.
There are days when I don't want to move, all I want to do is sleep and just ignore the world. Sometimes that's exactly what I do and I know it's the wrong way to go about it but at that moment, I just feel like that's the only way I can cope. I shut myself away from everyone and try to deal with it on my own. This is what I've been doing the past few days. My attitude has been eff everything and I haven't gotten a single thing done. I don't sleep at night and I end up sleeping all day.
My mind is constantly noisy.
There's always something there to worry me and keep me awake. Most of the time It's just random crap. Creating negative scenarios that just don't need to exist or thinking of a time I embarrassed myself and just reliving that feeling again. I can worry about worrying. It's a vicious cycle that anyone can go through and It's not easy to deal with. There is no quick fix, it's all about finding ways to deal with it and calming yourself down.
Right now It's 3:30am, I have warm lemon water and I'm watching Dr who (Matt Smith of course)
After this I am going to do a jigsaw puzzle on an app that I have. My University tutor told me about this trick. It helps to force all of your concentration on one specific thing so your mind can't roam free and start causing trouble. This and adult colouring books have really help me over the past few months to just give my mind a break.
I'm not really sure if this will help anyone but it has sort of helped me to express how I am feeling.
P.s I chose the beach picture because the beach is my favourite place in the world. Any beach at all. When I was in university, me and my house mates went all the time when we wanted a little break from the house. We sat quietly for a few minutes, breathed in the fresh beach air and then spoke about how we were feeling. Such a nice way to relax.
Thanks for listening to me ramble.
Love ya x
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